I haven’t felt like myself lately…since last year actually. 2018 was a tumultuous year filled with death, disease, stress, and changes. I’ve felt like I’ve been living my life through a fog…still capable of doing things but nothing was clear and concise. Recently, I took a 10 day trip to Utah, and I must say, the fog has lifted and my life has been reset from this experience.
The sheer beauty of Utah’s nature–from Zion National Park to Bryce Canyon, to the Scenic Byway 12 drive that takes you through snow-capped mountains and rolling green hills–woke me up. I felt FREE in these places…free of worry, free of responsibility, free of thinking about the future. Being in nature truly grounded me into the present moment to enjoy what was here and now.
I was skeptical about how the trip would go because of my Lyme Disease. Would I be able to hike? Would I have days where I didn’t feel like getting out of bed? Would we be limited in our activities? These concerns were warranted, but in the end, I felt the best I have felt since being diagnosed with Lyme Disease. I had the energy to do things, I surprised myself with how far I was able to push my body on some of the hikes, I woke up early in the mornings smiling from ear to ear ready for the day, and despite hiking most of the days, my body was not in pain.
For those 10 days, I was LIVING what I had pictured my life to be like for the last year. Happy, energetic, pain-free, calm and at peace, and a hunger for doing things and getting outside of my comfort zone. I had only dreamed about being able to do these things and feel this way, and this trip made me realize I was really the only one in my way of it. I was the mountain that was standing in my own way, standing in the way of seeing these beautiful mountains themselves up close and in person.
Nature woke me up, gently, but then pushed me to the edge of a cliff to say “Look at what you’re missing.” I felt that looking over the Zion canyon after one hike in particular. Truly, I have been missing out on life. And I have the swaying trees and the small creeks and the sandstone mountains to thank for showing me that I don’t have to miss out anymore. I gained so much gratitude from this adventure, gratitude and complete awe for nature.
I would say I have a different perspective after this trip. I now know that beauty can be found ANYWHERE and every day, you just have to take time to look at things from a different perspective. To look at things as if everything was magic. I realized I have the power to change my own life and to set my compass’ direction. What’s stopping me from hiking this trail? What’s stopping me from living the life I have always wanted? In reality, the only thing holding me back was me.
If you’ve been feeling stuck lately, or are wondering when your own fog will clear, my advice is to take a step outside and close your eyes. Feel the wind on your face. Feel the warmth of the sun beaming down and the blades of grass in between your bare toes. Don’t miss out on the simple wonders of life anymore…I know I won’t.